On the first day of my vacation last spring, I woke early in the morning before my flight to the Bay area determined to finish a piece of short erotica before I left town, just in time for an open call for orgasm microfiction. A couple hours of intensive work later, I finished “Baxter’s Boy”.
“Baxter’s Boy” started about a dozen years ago when I had an erotic dream sparked by a surprise kiss from a fag I had a crush on one New Year’s Eve, but thought I had no chance with because I was femme presenting at the time, though was actually gender fluid. I began to write the dream, and to read aloud the pieces I wrote to my friends. Thus was my career as an erotica writer born.
I never finished writing that story back then. But, about 2 years later, I picked it up again and tried to write the beginning of it, to introduce the characters, set the scene, as it started in the middle of the action. By then I was no longer genderfluid and had settled into a masculinity rather far from the femme gender I had been when the original kiss occurred. I set it the early 2000’s in my small college town, where the kiss had actually taken place for me. And I tried to write the femme I used to be sometimes, who dreamed of being witnessed and desired in her trans-ness, fantasized about (trans and cis) fags wanting her.
I never finished that start on the story either. This spring, I had an idea of taking that beginning, and finishing it differently. Not with the scene I dreamed of, but with that femme’s fantasy jack off session after the kiss. And I had a piece of microfiction that started many years ago, a piece full of nostalgia for the genderfluid femme I used to be, the trans fags I knew a dozen years ago, the way queer communities started a deep shift in my college town in the late 90s.
I just heard recently that the editor intends to print the piece, pending the approval of the press. “Baxter’s Boy” will likely appear in Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new orgasm anthology in 2013. This is the first piece of mine to appear in one of her anthologies, though she has curated readings I’ve been in before. I am excited to know that this trans nostalgia piece will be out in the world.