I’ve been writing up a storm for #NaNoWriMo this weekend, in huge bursts. One of the things I got to write was Jax and Violet’s first kiss. I love the way Violet continually throws Jax for a loop, and needed that to be a thread in this simple walk to the subway and kiss goodnight. I’m deep in my crush on Violet at this point, does it show? (Though her girl Liliana is making a run for the money too. But that’s an excerpt for another day.)
I love kissing, love the ways kisses can be a taste of other things, can hold so much possibility and intensity. Later on in the story, Violet refers to this particular kiss as “a real taste of what submission could be, of what sex could be, between them.” So I thought it would be a good moment to share with you, as I continue my slow tease with this novel. (This snippet also hints at their different approaches to polyamory, which is going to be an important thread later on in the novel.)
Jax made it to the door before Violet. It was almost like she slowed to get in sync with him. And then they were out in the icy night, her hand gripping his elbow for balance as he steered them on the safest path. Damn. She felt so good on his arm.
“So, Jax…who are you going home to tonight?”
What? This was not a question he had anticipated. She said it so easy, like of course it was expected that he wasn’t single.
“Oh, I live alone.”
“Who waits for you at home?” He tried to make his voice match her easy tone.
“My girl, Liliana. And my cat, Sweet Pea. And our roommate, Jacob, but not tonight, he’s at his boyfriend’s show and won’t be home.”
She turned to him, watching his face. He raised a brow at her. He wasn’t surprised that she had a girl, he’d guessed she was a switch, and it was a relief that she was polyamorous. Though the casual way she talked about it was new, that’s for sure.
“So now are you going to answer the question you know I was really asking?” She grinned impishly at him. Damn, she was so fucking cute.
“Sure, darlin. I’ve got a couple boys I play with, nothing too serious.”
She nodded. “Perhaps when we get together next time, you can tell me about your boys, and I’ll tell you about my boy, my girl, and my top.”
He grinned. She was agreeing to see him again!
“I’d like that.”
And they were at the station already. Now for the last thing he’d allowed himself, if she was up for it.
“I’d like to kiss you goodnight,” he said, his voice scratchy all of a sudden as he met her eyes. She took a ragged breath and blew it out, and he was mesmerized as he watched it leave her mouth. Then she took his hand and walked behind the entrance to the station to lean against the sign in invitation, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks rosy from the cold. She tugged his hand, pulling him towards her, yes plain on her face.
He reached with his hands first, cupping her face, holding her gaze, letting his dominance out inch by inch until he saw her recognize it, felt the jolt of that knowledge move through her, and waited to see if the yes was still there. It was, from the ache in her eyes to her parted lips to her quiet stillness.
He leaned forward, teasing them both with his nearness, taking his sweet time savoring this first conscious chosen D/s moment between them, hoping it could be the first in a long line of them, and accepting that it might be the only one. He pressed his lips into hers. Pressed his whole body into hers. Held her face still in his hands, gripping her more firmly, and closed his eyes as he felt her tremble. His hands moved along the sides of her neck and he dug them in a bit as he thrust his tongue into her mouth. There was a tenderness underneath the tang of it, and he lingered there, as he felt her hands flutter near his sides, not quite touching him, not sure if they had permission.
Jax slid his thigh between hers and dug his fingers into Violet’s neck more deeply, pushing her harder against the subway station, and felt her moment of decision happen. She moved her hands back to grip the bars instead of reaching for him. He groaned, and wrapped his hands in her hair, twisting just a bit as he drove into her mouth, ground his thigh into her, let more of his weight lean on her so she could feel his cock through his jeans. She opened for him, opened to him, in this delicious and shaky way, sparking everywhere he touched her.
He let himself go just a bit more and twisted her hair in his hands, matching it with a bite on her lower lip, grinding into her with his cock. She moaned into his mouth, her thighs spasming around him. Fuck. His heart was racing so fast, he could feel the adrenaline soaring through him, riding right along with the sadist’s roar in his chest, triumphant and fiercely wanting to claim. He licked along her throat, catching it between his teeth gently, a promise for the future, should there be one. She sighed out a small “oh” that stroked his cock in a long caress.
Reluctantly, he lifted his head to meet her eyes, knowing this needed to be enough for now. Her eyes were full of sparkles, dreamy and intent upon his. He slowly disentangled his hands from her hair, and traced her lips with his thumb, reverently.
“Don’t forget to breathe, sugar,” she said huskily. He closed his eyes, a rueful smile on his own lips as he pressed his boots into the pavement, trying to find solid ground, find a way to take in air.
Her hand reached towards his, and after allowing a moment for him to pull away, she pushed through to take it in her own, and he found himself trembling.
“It’s ok to take it in,” she said softly. She leaned toward him, closing the space between them, and putting her neck so close to his face. “Take in the scent of me, Jax. My desire, my yearning. Let yourself take in the scent of it.”
It took the third time before he could parse her words. He put his head on her shoulder and breathed in, taking her inside, learning her scent, letting himself draw in possibility. He still had no words for his own use.
“Thank you for tonight,” she whispered in his ear. And then she slid away into the station.
Here is where you can find a synopsis of Shocking Violet. I also have a Pinterest inspiration board (full of images that I’m using to inspire moments in the novel) that you can check out. I’ve posted a number of excerpts: a first taste centering Jax’s attraction to Violet, a second taste that gives you a moment from their first date, where Violet touches her own submission for the first time in a very long time, a tease of an excerpt that shows Violet being tart and ferocious in a way I personally enjoy very much, and an excerpt from the beginning of their D/s negotiations. Find other excerpts and related links here.