Links of the Week 4/20/16

I’m going to try sharing a short list of links to things I’ve found on the internet that I think are particularly worth reading. Stories and blog posts about the things I often write about here: kink, trauma, writing, polyamory, representation of marginalized folks, oppression, disability, queerness, fat activism, trans and non-binary daily life. I will try to see if I can do this on a weekly basis. I share links all the time, as I find them, on twitter and more thematically on tumblr, but I thought it might be good to draw particular attention to things here as well. (Partly because I love making lists, and sharing them.) They won’t all be recent; sometimes I find or remember and reread awesome stuff that’s been around a while.

Elsa Henry gives some concrete tips for Writing Blind Characters

“Yes, that last sentence was to see if you can stomach reading about eyeball trauma. If you can’t maybe stick to nontragic narratives around disability. Frankly, more blindness narratives that aren’t about how HORRIBLE being blind is would be super awesome.”

Ella Dawson talks about Daddy play and the aftermath of abuse in BDSM in Good Girl

“He is a dominant and I confess there are kinks I used to like but had taken from me, words ruined outside of play. Being called a whore stops being fun when someone you love means it. He apologizes for what a boy he’ll never meet did, not even knowing what he’s apologizing for.”

Lace Dagger on racism and competitiveness in queer spaces.

“I have heard numerous anecdotes from other women of colour about similar treatment from white women who held themselves in competition with these women of colour in one way or another, but almost none of my white women friends have experienced this particular expression of contempt from would-be competitors.

I have begun to recognise that this is a specifically racialised phenomenon that is especially prevalent in communities of queer women.”

Kris Ripper’s erotica story “Seen”. Genderqueer bottom has a rough break up after zir limits get violated and seeks solace in a scene with a stranger. This gorgeous gut-punch of a story was inspired by my recent collection “Show Yourself To Me” & I am incredibly honored by that.

“He walks forward and I go very still until his boots are in my line of sight. ‘Adrian. You told her your limit and she ignored it.’

‘They’re just words.’

I think he shakes his head, but I can’t tell. There’s a disturbance in the air. Then his hand, still hot, touches my neck, where my pulse beats against it. And oh god, now, now I want him. Now I want everything, in the space between one second and the next. I want him looming over me, and hurting me, and taking me.

I desperately want him to see me, but there’s no way of telling.”

This discussion on Disability and Kidlit about writing characters with mental illness

“I would love to see more books that are about the teens that have already sought help. The teens living with mental illness and dealing with it. Obviously, that’s not a plot. But I think it would be good to see more of that in our books.”

Annabeth Leong on her new BDSM fiction project that centers friendship instead of romance and engages openly with abuse in BDSM relationships. I am so excited about this project!

“A lot of this writing is about me engaging with BDSM as I’ve experienced it in life, which does not reflect the problem-free fantasy I often encounter in books.”

This long list of pronouns posted on destroythecistem. Arranged by theme!


Janani Balasubramanian on strategies for non-oppressive polyamory.

“Polyamory doesn’t get a free pass at being radical without an analysis of power in our interactions.  It doesn’t stop with being open and communicative with multiple friends, partners, lovers, etc. We’ve got to situate those relationships in broader systems of domination, and recognize ways that dating and engaging people (multiple or not) can do harm within those systems.”

Zetta Elliot on Decolonizing the Imagination.

“It is no coincidence that the portal in my first young adult novel opens in a garden; though I have consciously worked to decolonize my imagination, the influence of (and my affection for) those early narratives persist.”

And for folks looking for my work, here’s my recent post at the ERWA blog, on planning BDSM scenes in life and in fiction.

“As a top, when I’m planning a BDSM scene, I’m attempting to create a similar kind of cohesion. I want the play to feel connected, not like a series of disjointed activities. I want the play to be an expression of who I am as a top. I want the play to be specific to the bottom, and specific to this particular moment with the bottom. It needs to be about both (or all) of us.”

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