Here is a collection of my personal writing about being a top, all gathered in one set of links so you can access them more easily. To find all my kink essays, go here.
- I Talk A Lot, But Not About That, talks about how tops may dominate conversations in kink community but they don’t generally talk in vulnerable ways about their needs, desires or experiences.
- I’m Not Just Doing It For You, discusses the myth of the selfless top whose main role is to facilitate cathartic experiences for the bottom and has no needs of their own, and breaks down why I find this myth troubling.
- On Valentines Day, inspired by a gift from a fellow erotica writer, I posted a free erotica story on my website that follows the theme of sadistic desire and top vulnerability. (It’s from the POV of a stone genderqueer diabetic werewolf sadist, in case that grabs your attention.)
- To continue my series of posts on top vulnerability and the need for conversations about top desires, I have posted something rather long about my own consent as a sadist.
- Continuing my series on top vulnerability and top desires, I wrote about the importance of valuing the dominants consent and needs in kink negotiation.
- I wrote about my own choices around telling stories about my kink life and how they are impacted by the ways tops are treated in kink culture in One Top’s Perspective On Talking Publicly About Kink Relationships and Exes
- I recently posted What I Love About Pinching. Some of why I love it is about my own disabilities, and I discuss my need to take breaks during play, and how clips can be a great tool to use.
- I posted something for Blogging Against Disablism Day on my website, about being a disabled top. It’s an edited version of the talk I gave on the disability and kink panel I was on last summer.
- Here is a post about writing erotica as a disabled top.
- For the blog tour for my new erotica collection, I wrote about editing erotica stories to include top vulnerability.
- An older post on power exchange talks about vulnerable tops and strong supportive bottoms and the ways I try to write about that kind of exchange in my erotica.
- This short post from several years ago talks about the need for a more complex concept of tops.
- This rather old post discusses the representation of tops in erotica, focusing on erotica written from the top’s point of view.