On Internalizing the Cis Gaze When Thinking About Sex and Relationships

As a heads up, this essay tells several detailed stories about transmasculine people internalizing the cis gaze and passing those messages on to other transmasculine people, particularly with regards to sex, dating, romance, and relationships, and the representation of trans and/or non-binary people in romance and erotica. It includes descriptions of cissexism and internalized trans […]

Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

An excerpt from Claiming

I thought I would share an excerpt from a story I’m working on that’s tentatively titled “Claiming” about the crush that got away, who just might be back again. It’s a butch/femme story, about two fat queer women, one bisexual, one queer identified, written from the butches point of view. I’ve been thinking a lot these […]

Stories with Disabled Characters in Show Yourself To Me

Folks often ask about disability representation in this collection, and where to find it, so I put together this reference guide. Stories are listed in the order they appear in the collection. (MC = main character, SC = secondary character.) Missing Daddy: Main POV character (unnamed) has PTSD (briefly referenced at the beginning of the […]

Describing endometriosis

I have six chronic pain conditions: chronic migraines, arthritis, neuropathy, IBS, chronic back problems, and endometriosis. Daily experiences of pain shape my life in more ways than I could even identify. I am also disabled in other ways. I have complex PTSD. I am autistic. I am chemically sensitive. I have diabetes. I have a […]

Xan Reads Smut: A recording of “What I Need”

For the last three months, I posted audio recordings from the book, one per month. Here is October’s recording of A Large Full Meal. Here is November’s recording of Willing. This month, you can listen to me read an abridged version of “What I Need”, an erotica story from my collection Show Yourself To Me: […]

A hopeful excerpt for a hard day

It’s been a rough week. In the world, and for me. So I thought I might post a good-sized chunk of Shocking Violet that feels especially hopeful and cozy, and introduce you to Zak while I’m at it. If you want to know more about these characters or read previous excerpts, you can find a […]