The queer kinky polyamorous erotic romance novel I am working on is titled Shocking Violet. It begins when a tg stone butch meets a high femme queer cis woman, and focuses on the ways this new relationship and their exploration of D/s is a catalyst for change, both for them, and the other folks in their polyamory networks. This novel is set in NYC amidst the intensity of trans inclusion activism, and revolves around a group of interconnected queer disabled people who are risking connection, building trust, deepening access intimacy and seeking the changes they need in their relationships and communities.
Meet Jax, an autistic fat disabled trans butch with PTSD, who has his life set up the way it needs to be. He has his work, his friends, his shul, his activism. He’s got Alex, a boy who shines his boots and who smells like cookies when Jax hurts them just right. He’s got Rickie, a pretty boy who loves it when Jax peels him out of his tight jeans and canes him. He’s got his home back just for him and it finally feels clean of the girl that is gone for good, finally feels like it’s just his again, can be the bunker a stone butch like Jax needs. He has been aching for a new kind of D/s, one very different from the sort he did with the girl that is gone, and Violet might just be the femme to explore that with.
Meet Violet, an autistic fat high femme queer cis woman with PTSD and endometriosis, whose life is abundant with love and connection. She lives with people (and a cat) who are dear to her heart, has weekly dinners with her extended leather family, and has her cadre of queer healers to keep her going, her fellow fat activists for support, and of course, Femme Brunch. She adores her tough-as-nails tenderhearted girl, Liliana, feels solid in her relationship with Mel, who’s been her boy for 3 years, and has regular monthly dates with Pam, a butch top who plays just as hard as she needs it. Violet has been doing SM for a long time, as a top and a bottom, but she hasn’t touched D/s, hasn’t let herself go there, however much she yearned for submission. Jax may be a handsome butch with a gorgeously filthy mind and good politics, but Violet wants a deeper connection than Jax has with his other play partners. The balance in her polyamorous life is working well, and she doesn’t want to risk loving a new person unless they are a serious contender. Can Jax recognize what she has to offer and step up? Is Jax the kind of butch she would choose to kneel for? And what will happen if she decides to take the risk?
Meet Liliana, an autistic fat femme trans dyke with PTSD and fibromyalgia, who mostly just needs to do things on her own, for herself. She does what she has to do to deal with school, and chronic pain, and making ends meet. No big deal. She’s been building with her Ma’am Violet for several years, and they do for each other, without being dependent or anything. And it’s pretty good. She’s got a home that she shares with her Ma’am, an aging cat, and her housemate Jacob who’s kind of like a brother, really. Her room is the best haven a punk witch could ask for. Her besties are everything a girl could want, and Femme Brunch is exactly what she needs. She doesn’t miss her family. She doesn’t feel so damned isolated sometimes she could scream. She doesn’t yearn for submission. She can make the foods of home just fine for herself. She likes her alone time, needs it. And her kink life is seriously hot. She’s just fine. Just fine.
Meet Rickie, a thin femme trans guy with PTSD, who loves his dog more than anything. If you are not sweet to Gilberto, then you don’t belong in his life. He doesn’t need sweetness for himself. In fact, it makes him suspicious and angry, and is about the cruelest thing he knows. He is glad to be living alone again, and to have pulled away (mostly) from his ex, who he really should just stop seeing altogether because it fucks up his head. This thing with Jax is exactly right, just as it is. He doesn’t need more, or anything. He’s super busy anyway, between his job, his friends, the queer theater group, and his long distance thing with Tam. And his grandma needs more help these days. He wouldn’t have time for more. He’s wearing himself thin as it is.
Meet Zak, a fat queer trans guy with PTSD, who is over the queer leather scene since Sam and Neo broke his heart two years ago. He just wants to have his friends over to watch old movies and analyze them for queer subtext, write angry rants about misogyny on his blog, and decompress from his exhausting job by perfecting his gluten free recipes. And, maybe, occasionally, get to play with people he might actually be able to be himself with. As long as he avoids trans fag couples, he’ll be safe from heartbreak. Probably. Too bad Jax decides to take Rickie to Zak’s birthday party, because seeing them together for the first time totally made him swoon. Now he’s in trouble. Exactly what this grumpy dude needs for his 35th birthday.
Related links (including excerpts!):
- an excerpt centering the first spark of attraction Jax has for Violet
- an excerpt from Violet and Jax’s first date
- a tease of an excerpt showing Violet being tart and ferocious with Jax
- an excerpt showing the beginning of D/s negotiation between Jax and Violet
- an excerpt showing the first kiss between Violet and Jax
- an excerpt showing Jax and his pretty boy, Rickie
- an excerpt showing Jax managing his PTSD symptoms
- an excerpt showing access intimacy between Violet and her girl Liliana
- an excerpt illustrating how I am writing disabled characters managing things like overwhelm (from Jax & Violet’s second date)
- Listen to me read Chapter 1.
- A fisting day excerpt showing a scene where Liliana fists Violet
- An excerpt showing Jax and Rickie’s first kiss
- A hopeful excerpt where you get to meet Zak
- An excerpt describing Violet having an endometriosis flare
- my Pinterest inspiration board, an ever-growing collection of images that I’m using to inspire the novel