Why I Care About Depicting Survivors of Abusive BDSM Continuing to Do Kink

As a heads up, this post discusses abusive BDSM relationships, intimate partner violence, and sexual assault. It also discusses ableism and stigma around mental illness in kink communities, anti-kink prejudice in survivor spaces and therapeutic treatment, and kink community responses to abuse. It includes a brief reference to an abusive therapist. It includes a brief […]

A Roundup of Things I’ve Written About Trauma and Abuse

So I thought I might do a roundup page of links to stuff I have written about trauma and abuse, especially since more people may be coming to my website looking for that content. A bit of background: I am a survivor of multiple different kinds of abuse and trauma. I have complex PTSD as […]

Discerning Emotional Abuse in Relationships

As a heads up, this post will discuss emotional abuse tactics in detail. I encourage you to take care of yourself as you engage with it. If you get triggered while reading this post, this emergency emotional safety plan may be useful in managing that. (It’s a downloadable PDF.) About nine months ago, partly in […]

Links of the Week 4/20/16

I’m going to try sharing a short list of links to things I’ve found on the internet that I think are particularly worth reading. Stories and blog posts about the things I often write about here: kink, trauma, writing, polyamory, representation of marginalized folks, oppression, disability, queerness, fat activism, trans and non-binary daily life. I […]

One Trans Response to “Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds”

About content: this post speaks openly (and in some detail) about trans oppression in queer communities (with a focus on the ways trans men are targeted), gender border wars, purging, and gender-based coercion and abuse in relationships. Most of that discussion is in the first section, so if you want to avoid it, skip to […]

In Support of the Practice of Discerning Abusive Dynamics and Behaviors

(As you can likely guess, I’m going to speak bluntly in this post about abusive behavior, which includes things like violence and oppression.) I’ve written before about how part of being trauma survivor, for me, is about diligently working to recognize abusive dynamics and behaviors: in others, in institutions, and in myself. In this post, […]