As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]
Tag Archives: consent
Earlier this week, I asked Twitter for recommendations of books that centered characters with chronic pain, characters that were not cure-seeking and do not get cured. One book that was recommended was Risk Aware by Amelia C. Gormley. It’s an M/M BDSM romance with a main character, Geoff, who has hemophilia, and has never found […]
So I thought I might do a roundup page of links to stuff I have written about trauma and abuse, especially since more people may be coming to my website looking for that content. A bit of background: I am a survivor of multiple different kinds of abuse and trauma. I have complex PTSD as […]
Here are some of the brilliant things I have read this past week, my recommendations to you. This interview with Esmé Weijun Wang totally blew me away. So much in there about language, interracial relationships, mental illness. Really worth a read. “I chose to use English as well as Chinese in two ways: Chinese characters […]
I’m trying out sharing a short list of links to things I’ve found on the internet that I think are particularly worth reading, about the things I often write about here: kink, trauma, writing, polyamory, representation of marginalized folks, oppression, disability, sexuality, queerness, fat activism, trans and non-binary daily life. Queenie on grey areas of […]
(As you can likely guess, I’m going to speak bluntly in this post about abusive behavior, which includes things like violence and oppression.) I’ve written before about how part of being trauma survivor, for me, is about diligently working to recognize abusive dynamics and behaviors: in others, in institutions, and in myself. In this post, […]
On the erotica writers listserv I’m on, someone was talking about the trouble they were having writing the tipping point, that moment when their two novice kinky characters fell into D/s dynamic. I wrote a bit about that, and decided to rework it into this blog post. The Tipping Point When I Was a Novice […]
