Why I Care About Depicting Survivors of Abusive BDSM Continuing to Do Kink

As a heads up, this post discusses abusive BDSM relationships, intimate partner violence, and sexual assault. It also discusses ableism and stigma around mental illness in kink communities, anti-kink prejudice in survivor spaces and therapeutic treatment, and kink community responses to abuse. It includes a brief reference to an abusive therapist. It includes a brief […]

Valuing the dominants consent and needs in kink negotiation

(As a heads up, this post will discuss consent and negotiation in BDSM, and specifically focuses on D/s. It briefly references consen violations, abuse, and sexual assault)    “Building Something New” is a D/s focused story centering two trans queers who have been regular play partners for two years and are exploring taking their D/s […]

Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

One Disabled Sadist’s Response to Risk Aware by Amelia C. Gormley

Earlier this week, I asked Twitter for recommendations of books that centered characters with chronic pain, characters that were not cure-seeking and do not get cured. One book that was recommended was Risk Aware by Amelia C. Gormley. It’s an M/M BDSM romance with a main character, Geoff, who has hemophilia, and has never found […]

A Roundup of Things I’ve Written About Trauma and Abuse

So I thought I might do a roundup page of links to stuff I have written about trauma and abuse, especially since more people may be coming to my website looking for that content. A bit of background: I am a survivor of multiple different kinds of abuse and trauma. I have complex PTSD as […]

Links of the week 5/18/16

Here are some of the brilliant things I have read this past week, my recommendations to you. This interview with Esmé Weijun Wang totally blew me away. So much in there about language, interracial relationships, mental illness. Really worth a read. “I chose to use English as well as Chinese in two ways: Chinese characters […]

Links of the Week 4/27/16

I’m trying out sharing a short list of links to things I’ve found on the internet that I think are particularly worth reading, about the things I often write about here: kink, trauma, writing, polyamory, representation of marginalized folks, oppression, disability, sexuality, queerness, fat activism, trans and non-binary daily life. Queenie on grey areas of […]