Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

On Writing Disability In Erotica   

“the world needs more erotica that consciously depicts the beautiful diversity of bodies and identities” I am honored that She Bop, a fabulous feminist sex shop in Portland, recently posted about my writing, with a focus on writing disability in erotica. It makes my heart sing to know that there are sex shops like this who […]

Being a Disabled Top in Kink Community

This post is based on the talk I gave at the Center for Sex and Culture last summer as part of a panel about kink and disability. It is posted as part of Blogging Against Disablism Day (BADD). This post is about my experience of uncovering limitations related to being a disabled top, and figuring […]

I Talk A Lot, But Not About That

When we talk about play in kink community, we often focus on the bottom’s experience, the bottom’s desires and needs, the bottom’s journey in a scene, without discussing the top’s experience, desires, needs, or journey. I’ve seen this in the way we talk about negotiation, warm up, and aftercare, where the focus is on the […]