A hopeful excerpt for a hard day

It’s been a rough week. In the world, and for me. So I thought I might post a good-sized chunk of Shocking Violet that feels especially hopeful and cozy, and introduce you to Zak while I’m at it. If you want to know more about these characters or read previous excerpts, you can find a […]

Editing to Include Top Vulnerability

As a heads up, this blog post describes editing a story that includes edge play, intense D/s, psychological sadism, pain play, humiliation and objectification, and play with misogyny and whorephobia. It contains excerpts from the story that include misogynist and whorephobic slurs. The title of the story also contains a slur. The excerpts are marked […]

Links of the Week 6/8/16

Here are some of the great things I have read this past week, my recommendations to you. So one of the best things on the internet recently was Annabeth Leong’s Many Note Challenge, which occurred over a series of posts and is explained in the excerpt below. First post. Second post. Third post. And a […]

Links of the week 6/1/16

Here are some of the awesome things I have read this past week, my recommendations to you. This advice column by Rachel on Autostraddle feels like it explains something critically important about trauma and ways we go along with other people’s realities. It’s focused on biphobia in an intimate relationship, and it feels like it […]

Links of the week 5/18/16

Here are some of the brilliant things I have read this past week, my recommendations to you. This interview with Esmé Weijun Wang totally blew me away. So much in there about language, interracial relationships, mental illness. Really worth a read. “I chose to use English as well as Chinese in two ways: Chinese characters […]

One Top’s Perspective On Talking Publicly About Kink Relationships and Exes

When I publicly tell stories about my own kink experiences (which I do quite frequently both as a kink educator and on this site), it is primarily in service of a goal: to illustrate something I’m trying to explain, to make a point, to give context, to articulate something about myself or something I’ve learned, […]

How we talk about play

Recently, I read a BDSM erotic romance where the characters talked about play in a way that jarred me out of the story. Play was an action that the top did to the bottom. “Are you asking me to play you?” the dominant would say to the submissive, or the text would say things like, […]