Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

Stories with Disabled Characters in Show Yourself To Me

Folks often ask about disability representation in this collection, and where to find it, so I put together this reference guide. Stories are listed in the order they appear in the collection. (MC = main character, SC = secondary character.) Missing Daddy: Main POV character (unnamed) has PTSD (briefly referenced at the beginning of the […]

Describing endometriosis

I have six chronic pain conditions: chronic migraines, arthritis, neuropathy, IBS, chronic back problems, and endometriosis. Daily experiences of pain shape my life in more ways than I could even identify. I am also disabled in other ways. I have complex PTSD. I am autistic. I am chemically sensitive. I have diabetes. I have a […]

A Roundup of Things I’ve Written About Trauma and Abuse

So I thought I might do a roundup page of links to stuff I have written about trauma and abuse, especially since more people may be coming to my website looking for that content. A bit of background: I am a survivor of multiple different kinds of abuse and trauma. I have complex PTSD as […]

Discerning Emotional Abuse in Relationships

As a heads up, this post will discuss emotional abuse tactics in detail. I encourage you to take care of yourself as you engage with it. If you get triggered while reading this post, this emergency emotional safety plan may be useful in managing that. (It’s a downloadable PDF.) About nine months ago, partly in […]

Going At My Own Pace: The Impact of Rose Lemberg’s “Geometries of Belonging”

We have this saying in my chosen family of fat disabled queers: “Go at your own pace.” A saying, a reminder. To ourselves, and each other. A way of holding onto our reality, insisting it is enough. A counter to the thousand tiny and huge ways that the world insists that we are too slow, […]