Describing endometriosis

I have six chronic pain conditions: chronic migraines, arthritis, neuropathy, IBS, chronic back problems, and endometriosis. Daily experiences of pain shape my life in more ways than I could even identify. I am also disabled in other ways. I have complex PTSD. I am autistic. I am chemically sensitive. I have diabetes. I have a […]

One Disabled Sadist’s Response to Risk Aware by Amelia C. Gormley

Earlier this week, I asked Twitter for recommendations of books that centered characters with chronic pain, characters that were not cure-seeking and do not get cured. One book that was recommended was Risk Aware by Amelia C. Gormley. It’s an M/M BDSM romance with a main character, Geoff, who has hemophilia, and has never found […]

A Fisting Day excerpt from Shocking Violet

I love FISTING DAY! It’s a global event celebrating fisting, which was created in 2011 by the amazing queer porn legends Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble as a response to the overwhelming censorship of fisting as a sex act in pornography. As a queer kink erotica writer, I deeply value the representation of fisting in erotic material. For the […]

Going At My Own Pace: The Impact of Rose Lemberg’s “Geometries of Belonging”

We have this saying in my chosen family of fat disabled queers: “Go at your own pace.” A saying, a reminder. To ourselves, and each other. A way of holding onto our reality, insisting it is enough. A counter to the thousand tiny and huge ways that the world insists that we are too slow, […]

Reminder: Disability and Kink Panel tomorrow 8/23 in SF

I will be on a panel discussing kink and disability in San Francisco tomorrow, Saturday August 23rd, 2014 at 6-830pm. It is at The Center for Sex and Culture 1349 Mission Street in San Francisco. There are seven amazing panelists. I am truly honored to be included with these folks: Carrie Wade, Corey Alexander (me!), […]

A few resources on kink and chronic pain

In kink communities, we don’t talk a lot about chronic pain. We talk about pain as solely sexy, as punishment, as desired. In general our communities want to spend time talking about fun, hotness, and desire, and are much less interested in conversation about things like oppression, illness, disability, nonconsensual violence, or chronic pain. Someday, […]