The Alchemy of D/s

This post is part of the blog tour for Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year Volume 3! (As a heads up, this post discusses D/s dynamics at length and detail, with particular focus on service-based submission. It briefly references pain play.) I have very fond memories of my first experience with service-based submission. There was […]

Why I Care About Depicting Survivors of Abusive BDSM Continuing to Do Kink

As a heads up, this post discusses abusive BDSM relationships, intimate partner violence, and sexual assault. It also discusses ableism and stigma around mental illness in kink communities, anti-kink prejudice in survivor spaces and therapeutic treatment, and kink community responses to abuse. It includes a brief reference to an abusive therapist. It includes a brief […]

On Taboo Erotica

As a heads up, this post discusses taboo erotica. It mentions and occasionally gives examples that briefly describe some content of taboo erotica and some common taboo kinks like incest play, nonconsent, and water sports. It also discusses being a survivor of trauma and having taboo fantasies, though not in detail. I’ve been writing and […]

Valuing the dominants consent and needs in kink negotiation

(As a heads up, this post will discuss consent and negotiation in BDSM, and specifically focuses on D/s. It briefly references consen violations, abuse, and sexual assault)    “Building Something New” is a D/s focused story centering two trans queers who have been regular play partners for two years and are exploring taking their D/s […]

Navigating Kink Life as a Disabled Butch: Workshop Materials

I am teaching an interactive discussion-based workshop on Navigating Kink Life as a Disabled Butch at Butch Voices on Friday August 18 at 10:45am in Oakland. In this post, I’m going to share information and resources that I’m including in that workshop. Here is the description: If you are a kinky disabled butch, or you do […]

On Internalizing the Cis Gaze When Thinking About Sex and Relationships

As a heads up, this essay tells several detailed stories about transmasculine people internalizing the cis gaze and passing those messages on to other transmasculine people, particularly with regards to sex, dating, romance, and relationships, and the representation of trans and/or non-binary people in romance and erotica. It includes descriptions of cissexism and internalized trans […]

Hold Me Down by Sara Taylor Woods

So I had the pleasure of reading an advance copy of Hold Me Down. This book is incredibly important to me personally, and I think also in a much wider way. I’m going to write an essay about it. I will tell you about how this book shows a submissive masochistic woman grappling with internal […]