A Roundup of Things I’ve Written About Trauma and Abuse

So I thought I might do a roundup page of links to stuff I have written about trauma and abuse, especially since more people may be coming to my website looking for that content. A bit of background: I am a survivor of multiple different kinds of abuse and trauma. I have complex PTSD as […]

Discerning Emotional Abuse in Relationships

As a heads up, this post will discuss emotional abuse tactics in detail. I encourage you to take care of yourself as you engage with it. If you get triggered while reading this post, this emergency emotional safety plan may be useful in managing that. (It’s a downloadable PDF.) About nine months ago, partly in […]

Chapter 1 of Shocking Violet

Now you can listen to me read the first chapter of my current work in progress, a queer poly kinky romance novel called Shocking Violet! Shocking Violet is a queer kinky polyamorous erotic romance novel. It begins when a tg stone butch meets a high femme queer cis woman, and focuses on the ways this new relationship […]

Going At My Own Pace: The Impact of Rose Lemberg’s “Geometries of Belonging”

We have this saying in my chosen family of fat disabled queers: “Go at your own pace.” A saying, a reminder. To ourselves, and each other. A way of holding onto our reality, insisting it is enough. A counter to the thousand tiny and huge ways that the world insists that we are too slow, […]

Bisexuality and Me: One Trans Experience

  (Some notes about content: this post speaks openly about queer and trans oppression and in particular talks about intra-community gender border wars and ciscentrism. It also tells a story about my own experiences of internalized queer oppression as a kid, related to a queer hating therapist. It also references my queer kink erotica without […]

Centering Disabled Characters in My Erotica

This post has been written for Blogging Against Disablism Day 2016. In 2012, I started a new phase of writing. I decided to deliberately center disabled and sick characters in my erotic writing. This project began with the initial writing of my Tam Lin retelling, “The Tale of Jan & Tam,” in which I imagine […]

Writing Fat Characters In Erotica: Why It Matters To Me

As a heads up, this post contains brief descriptions of sex and detailed descriptions of the ways fat oppression intersects with sexuality. As an adolescent, most of my peers thought I could not possibly be a viable sexual object, because I was fat. They made it clear that no one would ever want to date […]

Ways Trauma Survivors Manage Triggers: Info for Writers

This is the third post in my series focused on writing characters who are trauma survivors, a series written especially for erotica, erotic romance, and romance writers. I recommend you check out the first post, in which I define trauma and talk about why you might want to write it realistically, and the second post, […]

On #WorldMentalHealthDay, talking about stigma and internalized ableism

I had a conversation with my (fairly new) therapist recently. I was talking about a situation that had triggered my internalized ableism around my mental health in particular. I used the words internalized ableism. She was confused. Said she understood what internalized ableism is, but didn’t get how it applied in the situation. Turns out […]

Listen to me read “A Large Full Meal”

It’s the anniversary of the release of my queer kink erotica collection, Show Yourself To Me! To honor it, for the next three months, I will be posting audio recordings from the book, one per month. This month, you can listen to me read “A Large Full Meal”, a story about two transmasculine queer tops […]

Links of the Week 10/1/16

I am starting this up again, because I have found so many amazing things recently. Here are some of the great things I have read or listened to this past week, my recommendations to you. Two links about disability and kink: This article about disabled people’s experiences in kink community that shares perspectives from Shanna Katz Kattari, […]

Going at My Own Pace, Part II: An Excerpt from Shocking Violet

Yesterday, I posted an essay about pace, and disability, and how reading Rose Lemberg‘s novelette, Geometries of Belonging, cracked something open for me as a writer around pace in Shocking Violet. I talked about how I was writing in a way that moved at my own disabled pace, and that honored the disabled realities of my characters. I […]