I Talk A Lot, But Not About That

When we talk about play in kink community, we often focus on the bottom’s experience, the bottom’s desires and needs, the bottom’s journey in a scene, without discussing the top’s experience, desires, needs, or journey. I’ve seen this in the way we talk about negotiation, warm up, and aftercare, where the focus is on the […]

A Few Things I Wish I’d Known About Sex, Dating, & Kink

A Letter to My Younger Genderqueer Self There are no rules that will actually make sense to you about how to date. It’s ok. You’ll figure out how to date anyway. After all, you can’t understand the rules about gender, and even if you did you wouldn’t fit them, and don’t really want to most […]

14th street station

Another Taste of Shocking Violet: First Kiss

I’ve been writing up a storm for #NaNoWriMo this weekend, in huge bursts. One of the things I got to write was Jax and Violet’s first kiss. I love the way Violet continually throws Jax for a loop, and needed that to be a thread in this simple walk to the subway and kiss goodnight. […]

A Stone Response to Annabeth Leong’s Untouched

I read Untouched with dread, and could not put it down. I didn’t get enough sleep last night because I couldn’t put it down. You know right from the prologue that Celia is intensely pushing past her boundaries around touch, because her relationship is on the line. That is the frame from the start, and it […]

butch femme

A Tease from Shocking Violet

My #NaNoWriMo WIP is tentatively titled Shocking Violet, and I am really enjoying the long form of it, the time to sink into flirtation and attraction. That’s new for me. My smut tends towards starting en media res, or getting right down to the action pretty quick. It often features characters that are already in […]

Imagining Disabled Characters in Erotica

About two years ago, Sharon Wachsler asked Sinclair Sexsmith this question, as part of an interview about Best Lesbian Erotica 2012: “what would it add for you to find more disabled characters in erotica?” I thought it was a really useful question, and I wanted to contemplate it, and perhaps blog about it. It’s taken me […]

Resources on “Writing the Other”

(updated on 2/26/15) “Writing the Other” is a phrase people mostly use to mean one of two things: writing about/from the POV of characters/people that are significantly different from you, belong to different communities, particularly along lines of power and privilege (e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability, class) writing about/from the POV of characters/people that are […]

Elust #67

Welcome to Elust #67 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #68? Start with the rules, come back March 1st […]