asking for help

Beloved Community, I have been very ill over the last two years, and I am currently facing a high risk of homelessness. I need your support right now. A couple of close friends helped me put together a crowdfunding campaign to raise funds to help me survive, until I begin receiving SSDI. Please consider supporting […]

On Internalizing the Cis Gaze When Thinking About Sex and Relationships

As a heads up, this essay tells several detailed stories about transmasculine people internalizing the cis gaze and passing those messages on to other transmasculine people, particularly with regards to sex, dating, romance, and relationships, and the representation of trans and/or non-binary people in romance and erotica. It includes descriptions of cissexism and internalized trans […]

Hold Me Down by Sara Taylor Woods

So I had the pleasure of reading an advance copy of Hold Me Down. This book is incredibly important to me personally, and I think also in a much wider way. I’m going to write an essay about it. I will tell you about how this book shows a submissive masochistic woman grappling with internal […]

Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

Fat Heroines in M/F Romance

It’s hard to find a good m/f romance centering a fat heroine. Mostly what I find is characters with lots of self-loathing, who diet continuously, cover up immediately after sex, and assume that the hero doesn’t really want them or that a thin woman is going to steal him. Sometimes, if I get lucky, the […]

Reviews of trans and/or non-binary lit by trans and/or non-binary reviewers

This week, I got two separate requests by cis reviewers for trans and/or non-binary reviews of trans and/or non-binary literature. They wanted to link to the review in their own review. This may be due to this wonderful essay about writing reviews of trans and/or non-binary books for cis reviewers, which suggests that cis reviewers […]

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 2: Story Level Trans-Exclusion

This is the second post in a series for writers, especially writers of erotica and romance. This series is focused on writing sex scenes with trans and/or non-binary characters in a way that includes less unintentional cissexism. Part 1 focused on cissexism between characters during sex scenes. Parts 2-6 focus on bigger picture questions and narrative […]

Centering Disabled Characters in My Erotica

This post has been written for Blogging Against Disablism Day 2016. In 2012, I started a new phase of writing. I decided to deliberately center disabled and sick characters in my erotic writing. This project began with the initial writing of my Tam Lin retelling, “The Tale of Jan & Tam,” in which I imagine […]

Writing Fat Characters In Erotica: Why It Matters To Me

As a heads up, this post contains brief descriptions of sex and detailed descriptions of the ways fat oppression intersects with sexuality. As an adolescent, most of my peers thought I could not possibly be a viable sexual object, because I was fat. They made it clear that no one would ever want to date […]

Ways Trauma Survivors Manage Triggers: Info for Writers

This is the third post in my series focused on writing characters who are trauma survivors, a series written especially for erotica, erotic romance, and romance writers. I recommend you check out the first post, in which I define trauma and talk about why you might want to write it realistically, and the second post, […]

Elust 92

Welcome to Elust 92– The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #93 Start with the rules, come back April 1st to […]

An excerpt from Claiming

I thought I would share an excerpt from a story I’m working on that’s tentatively titled “Claiming” about the crush that got away, who just might be back again. It’s a butch/femme story, about two fat queer women, one bisexual, one queer identified, written from the butches point of view. I’ve been thinking a lot these […]