Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

An excerpt from Claiming

I thought I would share an excerpt from a story I’m working on that’s tentatively titled “Claiming” about the crush that got away, who just might be back again. It’s a butch/femme story, about two fat queer women, one bisexual, one queer identified, written from the butches point of view. I’ve been thinking a lot these […]

Fat Heroines in M/F Romance

It’s hard to find a good m/f romance centering a fat heroine. Mostly what I find is characters with lots of self-loathing, who diet continuously, cover up immediately after sex, and assume that the hero doesn’t really want them or that a thin woman is going to steal him. Sometimes, if I get lucky, the […]

Favorite Romances I Read in 2016

Hard Earned Happy Endings Heartbeat Braves by Pamela Sanderson, because I don’t think I’ve ever read a more satisfying hard-earned happy ending, ever. Nothing Like Paris by Amy Jo Cousins, because I wasn’t sure they could figure out how to be together, pretty much til the end, and wasn’t sure how one of the main characters was […]

Reviews of trans and/or non-binary lit by trans and/or non-binary reviewers

This week, I got two separate requests by cis reviewers for trans and/or non-binary reviews of trans and/or non-binary literature. They wanted to link to the review in their own review. This may be due to this wonderful essay about writing reviews of trans and/or non-binary books for cis reviewers, which suggests that cis reviewers […]

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 2: Story Level Trans-Exclusion

This is the second post in a series for writers, especially writers of erotica and romance. This series is focused on writing sex scenes with trans and/or non-binary characters in a way that includes less unintentional cissexism. Part 1 focused on cissexism between characters during sex scenes. Parts 2-6 focus on bigger picture questions and narrative […]

Jax and Rickie’s First Kiss

The past few days, I posted things that I thought might be a balm or a comfort to folks reeling from these awful election results, and the subsequent violence and fear we are living under right now. Today, I thought I would share one of the sweeter moments in my current work in progress, Shocking […]

Centering Disabled Characters in My Erotica

This post has been written for Blogging Against Disablism Day 2016. In 2012, I started a new phase of writing. I decided to deliberately center disabled and sick characters in my erotic writing. This project began with the initial writing of my Tam Lin retelling, “The Tale of Jan & Tam,” in which I imagine […]

Writing Fat Characters In Erotica: Why It Matters To Me

As a heads up, this post contains brief descriptions of sex and detailed descriptions of the ways fat oppression intersects with sexuality. As an adolescent, most of my peers thought I could not possibly be a viable sexual object, because I was fat. They made it clear that no one would ever want to date […]

Ways Trauma Survivors Manage Triggers: Info for Writers

This is the third post in my series focused on writing characters who are trauma survivors, a series written especially for erotica, erotic romance, and romance writers. I recommend you check out the first post, in which I define trauma and talk about why you might want to write it realistically, and the second post, […]

Elust 92

Welcome to Elust 92– The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #93 Start with the rules, come back April 1st to […]

Stories with Disabled Characters in Show Yourself To Me

Folks often ask about disability representation in this collection, and where to find it, so I put together this reference guide. Stories are listed in the order they appear in the collection. (MC = main character, SC = secondary character.) Missing Daddy: Main POV character (unnamed) has PTSD (briefly referenced at the beginning of the […]

Describing endometriosis

I have six chronic pain conditions: chronic migraines, arthritis, neuropathy, IBS, chronic back problems, and endometriosis. Daily experiences of pain shape my life in more ways than I could even identify. I am also disabled in other ways. I have complex PTSD. I am autistic. I am chemically sensitive. I have diabetes. I have a […]