Why I Care About Depicting Survivors of Abusive BDSM Continuing to Do Kink

As a heads up, this post discusses abusive BDSM relationships, intimate partner violence, and sexual assault. It also discusses ableism and stigma around mental illness in kink communities, anti-kink prejudice in survivor spaces and therapeutic treatment, and kink community responses to abuse. It includes a brief reference to an abusive therapist. It includes a brief […]

On Taboo Erotica

As a heads up, this post discusses taboo erotica. It mentions and occasionally gives examples that briefly describe some content of taboo erotica and some common taboo kinks like incest play, nonconsent, and water sports. It also discusses being a survivor of trauma and having taboo fantasies, though not in detail. I’ve been writing and […]

A Valentines Day Excerpt from Shocking Violet

I thought I would post an excerpt from Shocking Violet, my kinky queer polyamorous romance novel WIP, for Valentine’s Day, as a present for you. It’s been over a year since I posted one, and I am nearing the finish line in my first draft. This is from Jax and Violet’s second date. Jax is […]

Valuing the dominants consent and needs in kink negotiation

(As a heads up, this post will discuss consent and negotiation in BDSM, and specifically focuses on D/s. It briefly references consen violations, abuse, and sexual assault)    “Building Something New” is a D/s focused story centering two trans queers who have been regular play partners for two years and are exploring taking their D/s […]

On Internalizing the Cis Gaze When Thinking About Sex and Relationships

As a heads up, this essay tells several detailed stories about transmasculine people internalizing the cis gaze and passing those messages on to other transmasculine people, particularly with regards to sex, dating, romance, and relationships, and the representation of trans and/or non-binary people in romance and erotica. It includes descriptions of cissexism and internalized trans […]

Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]

#DailyCoping Strategies Round Up

I began a new project this week. Each day, on twitter, I do a series of tweets describing one of my coping strategies and talking about how it works, what it is esp useful for, where I learned about it. As storify is shutting down, I’m linking directly to the beginning of the threads. If […]

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 2: Story Level Trans-Exclusion

This is the second post in a series for writers, especially writers of erotica and romance. This series is focused on writing sex scenes with trans and/or non-binary characters in a way that includes less unintentional cissexism. Part 1 focused on cissexism between characters during sex scenes. Parts 2-6 focus on bigger picture questions and narrative […]

Centering Disabled Characters in My Erotica

This post has been written for Blogging Against Disablism Day 2016. In 2012, I started a new phase of writing. I decided to deliberately center disabled and sick characters in my erotic writing. This project began with the initial writing of my Tam Lin retelling, “The Tale of Jan & Tam,” in which I imagine […]

Writing Fat Characters In Erotica: Why It Matters To Me

As a heads up, this post contains brief descriptions of sex and detailed descriptions of the ways fat oppression intersects with sexuality. As an adolescent, most of my peers thought I could not possibly be a viable sexual object, because I was fat. They made it clear that no one would ever want to date […]

A Birthday Exerpt from Shocking Violet

I thought I would post an excerpt from Shocking Violet, my kinky queer polyamorous romance novel WIP, for my birthday, as a present for you. As Zak has a birthday in the timeframe of the novel, that section seems like the best choice, given the occasion. Zaks birthday is a turning point in the story, in […]

Queer Romance Writing Resources

I’m gathering resources here for writers of queer romance. This is a work in progress. I will gladly take any recommendations you have for resources. I will keep adding to this list. Resources with big archives/many links: The Hopeless Romantic podcast focuses on queer romance, and spends a bunch of time talking craft. Read With […]

Essays and Resources about Writing Trans and/or Non-Binary Literature

At the end of my list of links to reviews of trans and/or non-binary literature by trans and/or non-binary reviewers, there is a resource list. I pulled out most of it as a separate resource post for writers, and then added to it. All of these essays and resources were written/created by trans and/or non-binary […]