In Support of the Practice of Discerning Abusive Dynamics and Behaviors

(As you can likely guess, I’m going to speak bluntly in this post about abusive behavior, which includes things like violence and oppression.) I’ve written before about how part of being trauma survivor, for me, is about diligently working to recognize abusive dynamics and behaviors: in others, in institutions, and in myself. In this post, […]

Erotica Calls-Summer 2015

(Updated 6/17/15) Note: this list is not intended to be comprehensive. It leans toward short fiction calls, and makes special effort to include queer erotica and erotic romance calls.     R. Jackson (Lethe Press) seeks big-boned men’s erotica (7/1/15) Insatiable Press is looking for erotic stories about new experiences (7/6/15) Ylva Publishing is looking […]

When Trauma Survivors Get Triggered: Writing Characters Who Are Trauma Survivors, Part 2

My blog series, Writing Characters Who Are Trauma Survivors, contains writing advice for folks who write erotica and erotic romance and who want to include realistic depictions of trauma in their stories. In my first post in this series, I discuss the reasons why erotica and erotic romance writers might include characters who experience trauma and who […]

Writing Characters Who Are Trauma Survivors: A Blog Series

My blog series, Writing Characters Who Are Trauma Survivors, contains writing advice for folks who write erotica and erotic romance and who want to include realistic depictions of trauma in their stories. As I add posts, I will include a short summary of what they contain. If there is just a title, it is a post […]

Writing Characters Who Are Trauma Survivors, Part I

I read a lot of erotica and erotic romance, especially the kinky stuff. While it is rather rare to find stories that include a wide range of mental health issues, trauma is actually quite common in these genres, especially in erotic romance. Lots of dominants with trauma in their past, often military or childhood trauma. […]

Being a Disabled Top in Kink Community

This post is based on the talk I gave at the Center for Sex and Culture last summer as part of a panel about kink and disability. It is posted as part of Blogging Against Disablism Day (BADD). This post is about my experience of uncovering limitations related to being a disabled top, and figuring […]

One Sadist’s Consent

My Consent-Seeking Approach I’m the kind of dominant that carefully negotiates the aspects of control we might play with. The kind of top that lays out a set of tools and asks you to examine and select from them. The kind of butch that asks, politely, if it is alright to flirt with you. My […]

I Talk A Lot, But Not About That

When we talk about play in kink community, we often focus on the bottom’s experience, the bottom’s desires and needs, the bottom’s journey in a scene, without discussing the top’s experience, desires, needs, or journey. I’ve seen this in the way we talk about negotiation, warm up, and aftercare, where the focus is on the […]