As a heads up, this post discusses abusive BDSM relationships, intimate partner violence, and sexual assault. It also discusses ableism and stigma around mental illness in kink communities, anti-kink prejudice in survivor spaces and therapeutic treatment, and kink community responses to abuse. It includes a brief reference to an abusive therapist. It includes a brief […]
Category Archives: Consent and Anti-Violence
(As a heads up, this post will discuss consent and negotiation in BDSM, and specifically focuses on D/s. It briefly references consen violations, abuse, and sexual assault) “Building Something New” is a D/s focused story centering two trans queers who have been regular play partners for two years and are exploring taking their D/s […]
As a heads up, this post will discuss consent in BDSM at length and with nuance, and will reference an abusive BDSM relationship briefly, without giving details. A few words about safewords Some kinky folks absolutely believe that safewords are necessary across the board for everyone. Some believe that it might be different with experienced […]
I began a new project this week. Each day, on twitter, I do a series of tweets describing one of my coping strategies and talking about how it works, what it is esp useful for, where I learned about it. As storify is shutting down, I’m linking directly to the beginning of the threads. If […]
So I thought I might do a roundup page of links to stuff I have written about trauma and abuse, especially since more people may be coming to my website looking for that content. A bit of background: I am a survivor of multiple different kinds of abuse and trauma. I have complex PTSD as […]
As a heads up, this post will discuss emotional abuse tactics in detail. I encourage you to take care of yourself as you engage with it. If you get triggered while reading this post, this emergency emotional safety plan may be useful in managing that. (It’s a downloadable PDF.) About nine months ago, partly in […]
(As you can likely guess, I’m going to speak bluntly in this post about abusive behavior, which includes things like violence and oppression.) I’ve written before about how part of being trauma survivor, for me, is about diligently working to recognize abusive dynamics and behaviors: in others, in institutions, and in myself. In this post, […]
Kink Praxis 